Have not been blogging for a very long time. Alot of things had happen.
Be it happy or sad. Cried and laughed. Heartbreaking too.
First, the happiest moment I would say is the SPCO concert. 15th Anniversary concert @ SCH. I see the joy in them and i see the sense of belonging in them. SPCO, HUAT AH!
Next, their FOCamp. Lots of tears and laughters. Glad that I went and sort out their unhappiness. People that do not understand will call us the busybodies. But we do that because we care. Not just for the club, but for the juniors. We would never want them to go through the hardship we went through. We would not wish to see them having the conflicts that we had. We would want them to learn and grow. =)
Work. As per usual. Just that my dearest partner had left. Doreen had quitted. I do not deny that I have no thoughts of leaving after hearing the news from her that she had tender. She is my pillar of strength at work. Though we have the negative thinkings, but we never give up. Now she had quitted, I got to stay strong and continue working hard.
Friends. I realised. I have alot of friends. But I do not know who are the real ones. But one thing for sure. I have friends that are always there to support me whenever I am in need of help. You guys know who you all. I don’t need to name you guys one by one. Be it from RS, SPCO or WLNY. =)
Health. Not very good. Falling sick like nobody business. I think to the extend Joey is thinking that I am getting MC even when I was not sick.
Having very weak stomach for a few weeks. Cough and flu joined in the fun too. Just that they forget to ask fever along to make me a H1N1 suspect. LOL!
Family. After a day of MC due to the cough and flu, I am back to work. But the day of work is only less than 1.5hours. While having a briefing, received a call from my Mum. It make me lose all my thoughts. I can’t stop shivering and I can’t phrase my wording properly. I can’t even think straight for a minute. I stopped picking phone calls and got questioned by Joey. I can’t control my tears, they just rolled down when I told her that I need to leave. My grandma passed away. I admit. I wasn’t close to my grandma. I even have times that I hated her. Thinking back on the earlier days, how she ill-treat my mum. But still she is my grandma. I just hate the feeling of having a person leaving me forever. It was my big aunt last year. This year, my grandma. I blamed myself for not being a good granddaughter when she is still around. Now, what I can do is faithfully pay my respect especially when the altar now is at my house. Since many years ago, we all have been very worried about her and my big aunt. Now that they are gone. Of course it is a relieve for everyone. It is also a relieve for the both of them. They no longer need to suffer due to the various sicknesses. They no longer need to go through all the painful processes. At least now they are free from all the pain and sufferring.
The world seems to be crashing down on me. I am lost. I need directions. I need some time to sort out my thoughts. I got to be stronger than before. I had always tried to hide my feelings. Even my tears are so precious. I hate to cry. I love to smile. But, I had forgotten how to smile. A smile that I mean it from the bottom of my heart. I had forgotten that I have feelings some times. Everything, hidden.