The damn day! It is coming in less than a month. I am happy and sad at the same time. Happy because I know that I will definitely enjoy my day and sad at the same time because I am nearing to mid – TWENTIES! GOD DAMN BLARDY HELL!! FUCK! ARGH!!!! =(

Yes. My wish list.

1) BOYFRIEND! Ha! I every year say this. But every year lazy to get one. Difficult to find. HAHA! Height >175cm. Looks of 郑元畅，阮经天，赵又廷。。。MUAHAHAHAHAHA!! And RICH!!!…. Where to find HUH!?!!!?!?!?!?!?

2) Watch. Rado watch! It cost a fucking USD 2700! I can only dream on having it la!

3) IPhone! Yes. I wanted very much to get an IPhone la. But I just renewed my line. Fuck you la “Moon”hub! =x

4) AMIT concert! I want to go! I want go for the MOST EXPENSIVE seatings! I’ve missed Sun Yanzi & Amei this year. I do not want to miss her again next year. T_T

5) Last but not least, I want TONNES of THIS!!!!!

MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

All I want is LOTS OF SURPRISES! Best is those can make me CRY kind. Whoot! =D But please prepare tissue paper for me hor!!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHA!

OK. I very much want to blog about a lady I met during this meeting on Tuesday. However, I am too tired to properly pen down what I would want to talk about. This is due to the insufficient of sleep these few nights. The previous night I had like less than 4hours of good rest. Last night or should I say today morning. I only have a short nap of 4hours with disturbance in between. Only with one sleeping bag as my mattress, another one as my blanket, the 3rd one as my pillow. Also, two others, one on my left in case i roll onto the cold floor and one below for my leg as the sleeping bag as the mattress is short! LOL

In short, I salute her the the max! =)

I promise to come talk more about her in the next post.

And at this very moment I would want to really go SLEEP!!!!

ZzzZzZzZzZZzZzzzzzZZZZzZzZzzzZzzZ

Today, I got so pissed off that I just said bye and walked off.

I am pissed with everything including myself. I think they are quite stunned by my PMS-ness.

I am utterly disappointed in myself for not being able to “conquer” that whole part of that song. Blardy HELL! I felt so inferior during combined practices!

It is not that difficult but yet I farking hell could not get it right at all. Keep playing the wrong note and wrong rhythm. Stupid me!

Partly of the sharp sound of one of the other instrument and the different tempo of another instrument, makes me even more irritated.

Our tiny member MSN-ed me to chill me off. Thanks! =*)

Sms-ed my good grand-daughter, Drug. =*) She commented that every Wednesday she see me practicing, I will look so damn pekchek! =*(

I realised something about myself, and this is a warning to the rest also I guess.

When I am practicing alone and I started to shut up and concentrate very much on the practice, never come near me and disturb me. Not even talk to me. I think I really will get so agitated and start my PMS-ness.

Oh gosh!! This is REAL REAL BAD! =(

人非圣贤
最近看到了一份报道。新加坡世界小姐刘依敏被爆出她盗取及滥用他人信用卡，被判处两年缓刑。互联网上的抨击是如此的严厉与苛刻。难道大家都没有过去吗？难道当一个人做错了，他就应该被批评到这么一文不值吗？那么，黄丝带运动还真的好失败！媒体一直不停的呼吁大家，多多给那些有一堆不堪的过去的人一些翻身的机会。那么，谁来告诉我，谁给这位新加坡小姐刘依敏这个机会呢？她或许是这么得不诚实，但是，她所要面对的压力或许就是为什么她要撒谎。如果大家都可以用一个接受她的态度来看她，而且还让她有一个改过的机会的话，或许她能变成一个可以为这社会贡献的一个人。让她有一个机会去面对与医治她的病态吧。饶了她吧。

人际关系
我想每个人都好想搞好自己的人际关系，尤其在工作上。这好让自己在生活上容易一些。外向的人很容易就能融入任何的团体但是外向的人就在这方面就觉得那么的困难。可是！当一个人太叽咂，而让人开始对这个人开始感到反感的话。对不起。请你把你的嘴给封起来吧！

压力
我想，大家都有大家各有得压力。在之前的公司，我所面对的压力或许对大家而言是多么的渺小。但是，同时我也被这些压力给压得我变得有那么一点的神经质。

• * 如果我说我经常加班后回家自己坐在客厅痛哭得话,我想没有人会相信吧。
• * 如果我说，我因为恐惧上班而因为心理因素，所以我的手无缘无故没直觉，我想打死你们都不会有人会相信我吧。
• * 如果我说我喝到醉醺醺的，然后跌进沟渠，回到家大哭，而且还大喊《做人真的好难，我能不能放弃一切，离开这里吗？！》这一句话可真的把我妈妈给吓坏了，大家因该会睁大眼睛大呼这是不可能的事情。

但是，以上三件事情我都真的做过了。或许是加上了其他的因素吧，而让我变得如此的神经质吧。

好了。废话够了。有空再回来废话吧。。。。。 =）

tattoo!

Oh well, after watching this video. I wanted so much to go get a tattoo!

And guess what. Just days before I watched this video. I dreamt about me going for a tattoo! Gosh! that tattoo I dreamt that I had was so BIG & beautiful.

It is across my shoulder and slide down diagonally over my back. Oh gosh! This is madness! I just want something small… LOL!

Have been hooked onto these three songs….

卢广仲 – 我爱你
词曲：卢广仲

曾 曾经在我眼前 却又消失不见
这是今天的第六遍
电影里的配乐 好像你的双眼
我爱你 快回到 我身边

好不好 好不好 好不好
答案没有什么好不好
不知道 不知道 不知道
不知道是什么好预兆
好不好 好不好 好不好
答答答答答答答答答
不知道 不知道 不知道
不知道是什么好预兆

太阳公公出来了 他对我呀笑呀笑
我爱你 你知不知道

曾经在我眼前 却又消失不见
这是今天的第六遍
电影里的配乐 好像你的双眼
我爱你 快回到 我身边

好不好 好不好 好不好
答答答答答答答答答
不知道 不知道 不知道
不知道是什么好预兆

太阳公公出来了 他对我对对我对我
笑呀笑 我爱你 你知不知道

曾经在我眼前 却又消失不见
这是今天的第六遍
电影里的配乐 好像你的双眼
我爱你 快回到 我身边

太阳公公出来了 他对我呀
笑呀笑 我爱你 你知不知道

曾经在我眼前 却又消失不见
我不要比赛交白卷
电影里的配乐 好像你的双眼
我爱你 快回到 我爱你 快回到
我爱你 快回到 我身边

Lily Allen – Fuck You

Look inside
Look inside
Your tiny mind
Then look a bit harder
Cos we’re so uninspired
So sick and tired
Of all
The hatred you harbour

So you say
It’s not okay to be gay
Well I think
You’re just evil
You’re just some racist
Who can’t tie my laces
You’re point of view
Is medevil

F*ck you, f*ck you
Very, very much
Cos we hate
What you do
And we hate
Your whole crew
So please
Don’t stay in touch

Fuck you, fuck you
Very, very much
Cos your words
Don’t translate
And it’s getting
Quite late
So please
Don’t stay in touch

Do you get
Do you get
A little kick out
Of being
Small minded
You want to be
Like your father
His approval
Your after
Well that’s not how
You’ll find it

Do you
Do you really enjoy
Living a life
That’s so hateful
Cos there’s a hole
Where your soul
Should be
You’re losing
Control of it
And it’s really
Distasteful

Fuck you, fuck you
Very, very much
Cos we hate
What you do
And we hate
Your whole crew
So please
Don’t stay in touch

Fuck you, fuck you
Very, very much
Cos your words
Don’t translate
And it’s getting
Quite late
So please
Don’t stay in touch

Look inside
Your tiny mind
Then look a bit harder
Cos we’re so uninspired
So sick and tired
Of all
The hatred you harbour

Fuck you, fuck you
Very, very much
Cos we hate
What you do
And we hate
Your whole crew
So please
Don’t stay in touch

Fuck you, fuck you
Very, very much
Cos your words
Don’t translate
And it’s getting
Quite late

So please
Don’t stay in touch

PCD – Hush Hush (i will survive)

I never needed you to be strong
I never needed you for pointing out my wrongs
I never needed pain, i never needed strength
My love for you was strong enough you should have known

I never needed you for judgements
I never needed you to question what i spent
I never ask for help, i take care of myself,
I don’t know why you think you’ve got a hold on me

And it’s a little late for conversations
There isn’t anything for you to say
And my eye’s hurt, hand’s shiver,
So look at me and listen to me because

I don’t want too, stay another minute
I don’t want you, to say a single word
Hush, hush, hush, hush
There is no other way, i get the final say because,
I don’t want too, do this any longer
I don’t want you, there’s nothing left to say
Hush, hush, hush, hush
I’ve already spoken, our love is broken
Baby hush, hush

I never needed your corrections
On everything from how i act to what i say
I never needed words
I never needed hurts
I never needed you to be there everyday

I’m sorry for the way i let go
From everything i wanted when you came along
But i’m never beaten, broken not defeated
I know next to you is not where i belong

And it’s a little late for explanations
There isn’t anything that you can do
And my eye’s hurt, hand’s shiver,
So you will listen when i say
Baby

I don’t want too, stay another minute
I don’t want you, to say a single word
Hush, hush, hush, hush
There is no other way, i get the final say because,
I don’t want too, do this any longer
I don’t want you, there’s nothing left to say
Hush, hush, hush, hush
I’ve already spoken, our love is broken
Baby hush, hush

First i was afraid i was petrified
Kept thinking i could never live without you by my side
But i spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong
But i grew strong i learned how to carry on

Hush, hush, hush hush
I’ve already spoken, our love is broken baby
Oh no, not i
I will survive
As long as i know how to love
I know i will stay alive
I’ve got all my life to live
I’ve got all my love to give
And i’ll survive
I will survive
Hey hey..

Hush, hush, hush, hush
There is no other way, i get the final say,
I don’t want too, do this any longer
I don’t want you, there’s nothing left to say
Hush, hush, hush, hush
I’ve already spoken, our love is broken
Baby hush, hush

I previously mentioned in previous post. Had a meet up with somebody.

Well, meet up with somebody from Prudential. Had an almost 2 hour talk with him. Took up the offer.

Yes. I am joining Prudential. Something that I never thought I will ever do.

I consider myself to be very fortunate. I have friends around me supporting my decision. I have friends telling me to 加油 and wants me to tell them on any good plans available for them.

Of course! I have some friends that pour cold water. But to be frank, those are really not my close friends at all. What they say only make me stronger and want to prove myself even more! =)

Thanks!

我知道你们是我永远的支柱。。
千万分的谢意！！
=]

I do not know why. Monday blues I guess. I always felt emo on Mondays.
I so feel like crying to de-stress. I had a very long and quiet day. I did not talk much. I kept to myself.

Why is this happening?

I guess, it will be another night to cry myself to sleep.

This is not right. I need to do something to get myself out of this situation.

Fuck!

*Fuck you! Fuck you! Very, Very MUCH~ cos we hate what you do and we hate your whole crew so please dont stay in touch!
*Fuck you! Fuck you! Very, Very MUCH~ cos your words dont translate and it’s getting quite late so please dont stay in touch!

Oh gosh!

I think I better cut down on my cash flow on alcohol.

It is not good!

Either I cut down on that or I cut down on my other expenses like taking taxi. LOL

No! I should say I got to cut down BOTH alcohol and taxi!

This month is a very poor month. OT pay was not credited. BOO!

Shit la!

Kill me. Shot me!

Seriously, I have alot of thoughts running inside my mind.

Perhaps, I am just too tired.

Seeing the people going ‘crazy’ at work. Seeing the people getting so agitated at work. Seeing the people getting so stressed up at work. Seeing the people crying at work.

Somehow, I felt relieved. Relieved that I chose the path to leave. Call me a weakling. But I do not see any point to continue in this path for long term. I do not see myself having any future in this.

I know I am a very selfish and heartless person. Be it in relationship or work. But, I hate it when people take my kindness for granted.

I am getting very tired. I could not have a day that I can return home BEFORE the Sun sets. =(

Give me some break.