Finally it is SUNDAY! A day that I have been looking forward to and also HATED! Because finally I can sleep late and DAMN, I need to work tomorrow AGAIN. For the past 1 week, things are getting better. More things to do. But, I always struggle to stay awake after LUNCH! LOL!
Had dinner today at JP. With my usual gang. Saw my cell group member and leader. My first reaction is to walk off. Thats because I just do not wish to face them to answer all the questions of why is this my decision. I do not hate any of them and of course I know that they all still cares a lot for me. But, I just wish to leave all these. I don’t mind them even to contact me to go out. But, please do not invite me back for service, cell group or outreach. I do not wish to have anything to do with church. Perhaps I’ve changed.
Once, or I should say quite a few times. People commented that I can be very heartless. Yes. It is true. Having me going through so much ups and downs. It really moulded me into a more and more heartless person. Once a decision had been made. I’ll make sure it will be a strong one and stay put to it. But having said that, I’m actually quite soft-hearted.
Of course, I felt guilty for my irresponsible acts of ignoring calls and SMSes and running away. But, this is the only way I can think of to end the dilemma I’m in. To have more time for myself. I’m sorry.
I know you guys are still reading my blog. Yes. I do not hate you all. But I just want a break from all these. Of course, I do not mind going out with you all. But, perhaps I still need some time to slowly accept it. I’m sorry.
