我只能说，我根本都不敢面对我对你的感觉。我根本不敢面对我对你的爱恋。
再见。
另外，我决定暂时停止我这些疯狂的派对。停止我这些疯狂的狂欢。
Archive for March, 2008
Clubbing, KTV-ing, SCANDAL-ing!
BACK! Yeah. Back from all the boozing, dancing and scandaling. LOL! Enjoyed myself during this long weekend though on Saturday afternoon had to rush back to work.
Thursday clubbing @ dblO. It is 4D day. Dance Drink Drank Drunk Day. Feeling kind of high. Due to the empty stomach again. BOO! They said that I am horny when I am high. Thus resulting in stripping both TY and Zhaoxing. But I think we stripped TY till he very pathetic la! LOL. Everybody were so high. So much of bua-ing. The king of bua-ing got to be TY and the queen will be Rena! Not to forget the ultimate craziness of TY. Left me there feeling so damn ARGH!!!!! *TY! You lucky I am still quite sober. If not, I think I will just rape you on the spot!* LOL! Our drunkard of the day of course once again is RENA FOONG!~ She never fail to be the drunkard whenever we go clubbing. LOL! But, that night, I had NOT ENOUGH of DANCE and BOOZE!
Friday attend Angeline’s 21st birthday celebration. Really glad for her to finally find a guy that dotes her so much. Whatever hurt she had from the past, all the effort she put in to the previous relationship and got wasted are no longer wasted. She had reaped back what she sowed. =) Rush down to town to meet up with TY and Rena and others for movie. If I’m not wrong, I think it is already the 3rd movie for the month I had. Every weekend movie. LOL! Nice movie. I like. The scary part is still alright. I like the plot. I like the meaning behind the movie. KTV after movie. Another round of scandal. Totally have no idea what happen to TY. He forced us to be his girls and seduce him. WHATEVER. LOL!
Saturday work, concert, KTV! Yes again. Finally I can sing with QAD Ernest again. Again, TY’s madness start again. Dancing around. More scandals. DAMN! Ended the KTV with clubbing songs. -_-” LAME!
Sunday sleep through. LOL! BORING eh! LOL! Lazy to blog liao. BYE!
Tuesdays with Morrie
Have started reading this book few days ago. Don’t know what makes me suddenly have the urge to read. But well, I’ve already start reading and going to finish it soon.
Have a lot of feelings after reading almost half of it. It makes me think back on my life. On how I dealt with problems when in period of trials. Indeed, I’m glad that at least I don’t have any regrets. Other than not to study hard enough.
Sometimes, while reading it, I have the sudden urge to cry. I remember reading a portion saying about self-pity. I said before that I hated people who love to self-pity. But that doesn’t mean that nobody can self-pity. Of course, everybody should at least learn how to self-pity. In order to really learn how to appreciate and love yourself more. I realized that I’ve been so bad to myself. Having all those nights out, late nights, early morning. Spoiling my own health. Causing myself to have bad record in studies. Haiz.
Speaking of being nice to myself. I shall spoil myself for something that I had been waiting for. Boozing and Dancing tonight! With my beloveds all. =) Shall enjoy myself well and limit to myself to one month the most once only and thats it!
Shall go start preparing already.
to all cute cute juniors :
yishan, huiling, jingshi, mervyn, sihui, john,jiajia ….. and alot more…..
Don’t worry about my emo postings. I’m alright la! All the “big wind big waves” I already passed through. Nothing can stop me from soaring higher! =)
Rest Day
Finally it is SUNDAY! A day that I have been looking forward to and also HATED! Because finally I can sleep late and DAMN, I need to work tomorrow AGAIN. For the past 1 week, things are getting better. More things to do. But, I always struggle to stay awake after LUNCH! LOL!
Had dinner today at JP. With my usual gang. Saw my cell group member and leader. My first reaction is to walk off. Thats because I just do not wish to face them to answer all the questions of why is this my decision. I do not hate any of them and of course I know that they all still cares a lot for me. But, I just wish to leave all these. I don’t mind them even to contact me to go out. But, please do not invite me back for service, cell group or outreach. I do not wish to have anything to do with church. Perhaps I’ve changed.
Once, or I should say quite a few times. People commented that I can be very heartless. Yes. It is true. Having me going through so much ups and downs. It really moulded me into a more and more heartless person. Once a decision had been made. I’ll make sure it will be a strong one and stay put to it. But having said that, I’m actually quite soft-hearted.
Of course, I felt guilty for my irresponsible acts of ignoring calls and SMSes and running away. But, this is the only way I can think of to end the dilemma I’m in. To have more time for myself. I’m sorry.
I know you guys are still reading my blog. Yes. I do not hate you all. But I just want a break from all these. Of course, I do not mind going out with you all. But, perhaps I still need some time to slowly accept it. I’m sorry.
Irritated!
IS YOU PEOPLE DONT UNDERSTAND ENGLISH OR WHAT! I ALREADY SAID! STOP MSGING ME. STOP CALLING ME! I WILL NOT PICK UP!! STOP BEING SUCH A PEST! I AM VERY IRRITATED!Damn. Feeling very irritated by people. Again, I have the same feeling again. People with masks. People with motive. STOP it can?! YOU PEOPLE ARE NOT HELPING ME AT ALL! BUT PUSHING ME MORE TO RETALIATE! DONT BLAME ME IF I BECOME VERY HOSTILE TOWARDS YOU ALL! LEAVE ME ALONE!
Enough of these. These past few weeks are so tiring for me. Work. Work. Work. Of course not forgetting the meet ups everyday with them. LOL!
Having working at RS Components can be boring and fun. =) I think I would want to stay on working there. I kind of like the place actually. Of course, minus off all the OTs la! LOL!
Yawns. Lazy to blog more. Looking forward for my weekends and holidays. Looking forward for boozing session. Looking forward for dancing session. YEAH! BYE!
For EVERYBODY
Alright. I’ll say this for the last time. PLEASE STOP CALLING MY HOME OR CELL PHONE OR EVEN SMS ME NOT EVEN VISITING ME!!
I’m getting irritated. I’m happy with my life now. There is nothing going on in my life that is causing this change. I’ve always been like that. To be even more frank. This is not the first time I have the thought of leaving. I’m really tired. I need to get a rest.
No amount of SMSes, calls, chats will bring me back anymore. The more amount of SMSes, calls, chats that I got. Make me even more strong to go against it. Initially I only have thoughts of just attending services on my own. But now, I decided to stop ALL.
So please. Leave me alone. Thanks. I deeply appreciate it. I may sound very bad and I know what I’m doing or saying is making everyone of you very upset. But, I got to make my own decision now. Thanks. I just want to free myself from all these commitment. So please do me a favour by leaving me alone and stop bugging me. THANKS!
For Cell Group – W431
Alright. I want to end it once and for all.
I apologise for all the troubles I’ve caused. I apologise for all the worries that I’ve caused too. I apologise for being so irresponsible. I apologise for purposely ignoring the calls, smses, msn chats that you guys had initiated.
But, I really need a break. Stop calling my handphone, home, sms-ing, chatting with me. Because I will not answer or reply. If there is a need to, I will even change my number and emails.
Nothing actually happened. Or rather, it was being kind of planned for a few days or rather I have been thinking about it for a few weeks. After much thinking, I decided to leave. Because I’m really tired of the hectic schedule. I know that you guys are very busy too. But, I just wish to have more time for myself and doing things that I really wanted.
So please. Dont ask me when did I start planning, why did I decide this and that. Dont even ever think of coming to visit me. Because I will not entertain any of that sort.
But, never doubt the truth that I do Love God. But, dont bother to ask me back. Thanks.
once again
Once again, I fell for the trap of love. Damn. Shall slowly climb my way out of it. Perhaps I should stop allowing myself to fall again. FULLSTOP.
