Archive for February, 2008

pissed.

{ February 29, 2008 @ 12:01 am } · { crying, rantings }
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I am very pissed. It had been so long since I last flared up in this manner. I seriously hate the way they treat me. I may not be the most unfortunate kid but I definitely not the most fortunate one.

Things spoilt by him. I got the scolding. Scolded him to ask him own up himself. Ended up, I got another accuse for venting my anger at him.

You asked me. Why just a friend operation I so kan jiong. But when you or “da gu” sick or hospitalise I totally dont care a fucking damn. Let me tell you frankly. BLAME YOURSELF FOR THIS! ITS YOU PEOPLE THAT INFLUENCE ME WHEN I AM YOUNGER THAT THEY ILL-TREAT YOU AND I HATE THEM FOR THIS. AND YOU DONT FUCKING CARE WHEN I AM SICK. WHEN I SAY I AM NOT FEELING WELL, I WANT TO SEE A DOCTOR. YOU SCOLD ME AND SAY I SICK IS SERVE ME RIGHT. CAUSING ME TO STOP TELLING YOU THAT I AM SICK TIMES AFTER TIMES ONLY TILL I REALLY CANNOT TAKE IT.

I onced had so many big dreams. But YOU SIMPLY JUST SMASHED EVERYTHING! I never ever had mustered up the courage to even take part in any singing competition. But when I had mustered up the courage, you simply just used one sentence, “STOP THROWING FACE CAN!?” and smashed everything up.

Music to me is really the only way I can release all my frustration. But times after times, you stopped me from continuing on. I am just a girl who just love to play music and sing. Why must you just times after times kill my dreams?

Yes. I did dream of being a superstar. But I know my standard. I know my looks is already the biggest obstacles. And I know, my singing is not perfect. But does that give you enough reasons to banish me to zero level?!

Even with so much good compliments from others, but with just ONE sentence. I lost all my confidence. All I have are just more doubts about myself. All I have are just more thoughts of people are just trying to bootlick.

I just want to live my life to the fullest. I just want to complete whatever that I can when I am still young. I dont want to die with regrets. But, I think I only have to die with regrets.

FUCK OFF!

For my bitch, Keerling!

{ February 21, 2008 @ 6:38 pm } · { rubbish }
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Alright. Keerling asked me how to change my font to be bigger and with colour. So here I am to give lesson! LOL

NOTE: Please subsitute ‘(‘ with ‘<’ and ‘)’ with ‘>’
(span style=”font-family: verdana; font-size: 180%; color: #99ff99″) alright this is the code used. as for this space here. type what you want lo. the color code. You got to get from the color code for coding. and the font-size you can change according lo! LOL (/span)

Alright. This is what you will get. =D

Oh ya!! One more thing to note! You got to type out that code in the code tab instead of the visual tab!
alright this is the code used. as for this space here. type what you want lo. the color code. You got to get from the color code for coding. and the font-size you can change according lo! LOL

fast or slow?!

{ February 19, 2008 @ 1:48 am } · { rubbish }
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322pts, 78correct 1wrong. 444characters per min!!!!!

“daily” rants

{ February 17, 2008 @ 2:24 am } · { rubbish }
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Chinese New Year mood had just died down. With the amount of angbao money I collected. I can only say is just enough to feed me for a week. LOL!

Went to catch all the movies that were released in conjunction of the Chinese New Year season. CJ7, Ah Long Pte Ltd and KungFu Dunk.

CJ7 – Sucks! Waste money. Only the 7 zai is cute. And also the small “boy” LOL

Ah Long Pte Ltd – Funny. Laugh all the way. But abit too draggy and ending a bit lame.

KungFu Dunk – TOO EXAGGERATING! But it is another destress movie. Just go and laugh!

Haven’t watch Sweeny Todd!! argh! Want to watch P.S. I Love You, Jumper, Death Note Spin Off – L Change The World. LOL.

Went Obar again on Friday. LOL. Saw Keerling. Nice seeing you there, bitch! LOL. =D~ She is my bitch! Alright.

Went Wala Wala yestrday. Nice band. Nice group of people I went with. Wind, Brian, Xueting, Zhaoxing, Ivan, Chicky, Katherine. There is this wierd angmoh. Damn! LOLX. Saw ZJ. LOL!! Jiaxin came to join us afterthat! =D

CO today. Irritating singers. Every song also want to TEST MICROPHONE. Tiring.

Tomorrow performance. Monday house visit and performance. Wednesday interview and performance.
Tuesday house visit. Thursday house visit. Friday overnight prayer meeting.
Saturday service. Sunday BBCO and cellgroup.

When can I sleep for 24hours?!

Ok. I think this is really my lousiest post ever. LOL! Bye!

Friends

{ February 10, 2008 @ 4:07 am } · { rantings }
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Alright. Once again. It shows me that friends are not forever. Just have a long chat with Wind. Things are cleared up. Knew my faults and her faults.

Realised once again. Friends are never real. This fact, has always been at the back of my mind. Times over times, I kept reminding myself never to trust or treat anybody too good. But I cant.

Till date, there is really none of my friends that really understand me. Frankly speaking, not even Ernest or Xinjie or Jiaxin. Only one. See Lay Leng. My one and only friend that after months of not meeting up and contacting, she still knows what I want.

Perhaps this is due to the fact that I never tried to open up to a person too much. Once I reach the point when I know that we too close, I will start to back off.

I have this group of friends that I onced met every other nights for suppers. But now, due to some different likings and opinions, we have start to part our ways. This really shows how strong are our friendship. I also realised how important are each of us in each other’s heart.

It is so true that normally friends will only quarrel over two basic things. First, it is MONEY. Second, it is RELATIONSHIP.

Call me selfish, call me jealous, call me narrow minded. But somehow, I hate the change when new people joined in. I hate the feeling that friendships are actually so fragile that some can just join in and break it.  I hate the way we people are being treated when new people joined in. I hate the way when people accusing us for drawing lines. I hate the way when they start to make a big fuss on whether are they being asked for an outing.

WhoLivesNearYou gang. If this is what you all want, then let it be. I will slowly slowly just leave my footsteps behind and continue on with my journey of life. It does not matter whether am I present a not. Because this is no longer important anymore.