Archive for October, 2007

apologies!

{ October 29, 2007 @ 4:59 pm } · { rubbish }
{ } · { Comments (2) }

Hello PEOPLE!
It have been such a long time since I last blog. Shall have a new start for my blogging! I’m alright. I’m feeling happy to see him back in church again. =D

My life have been quite exciting these few weeks. Well, actually not really. Other then the clubbing night and KTV sessions with my beloveds, I think nothing else is FUN.

Clubbing night. Interesting. My 4th time. Enjoy myself though the MUSIC SUCKS!! Went with Jiaxin, Superglue Wind, Swine, Brian, Ivan, Benson, Irene, Steven and Yixiang (Superglue Wind’s buddy).

* Ivan can really dance ALONE! And I seriously think, he would have the tendency to go CLUBBING ALONE!
* Jiaxin is “belly belly sehsi” that night with the low cut dress. Whoo! Can even peek into and see the BLACK BRA =x
* Swine is also “belly belly sehsi” in that tube top. I will never forget her “CHOPSTICK”.
* Wind scared me by her LONG LONG LONG LASH! And she simply loves to “BUA” everybody. And she also loves to come in between my LEG!!! =x *SensorED!*
* Benson and Irene are so quiet!!!!!!!
* Steven simply get everyone lost along the road.
* Brian is just like the POLE of the NIGHT. He is the most fortunate guy last night with so many ladies dancing around him.
* Yixiang is such a CUTE and CHEEKY boy. BUT, height matters. Fighting with him the whole night as if we know each other for YEARS!

Saw Jieying and Sansan there. Pretty Pretty ladies. =D
Oh and also my new child, Danny Kong!

Surprised that he actually recgonise me when I stepped into the club. Jiaxin thought that man is crazy because he keep trying to hit me. (Not hit on me, but trying to HIT ME!) LOL! And his friend is as equally crazy. Trying to ask me to finish his whole cup of Jim Beam for him.

Suddenly don’t feel like blogging already. LOL!. =D

serious talk

{ October 14, 2007 @ 4:45 am } · { Cell Group }
{ } · { Comments (4) }

Seriously speaking, I am very affected when I saw him at service today. I have been asking myself, whether is it that I’ve been trying to cover up all my innermost feeling by acting normal. But I realise I am not at all normal. I’ve choose to run away from the problem.

Will we ever talk again?
Will I ever have the courage to talk to him?
How should I react if we see each other?
How should I react if people start asking about it?
What will I do if I see him on the street with the new girl?

The list goes on and on.
This ending is because of the one decision I’ve made – to end the relationship.

After knowing about his MIA, I start to blame myself for causing him to react this way.
Though I know that what done can never be undone. But, I still feel so angry with myself for this decision made.

However, I know and I know it well that even if I don’t be the one making this decision. Sooner or later, we will still end up this way.

I seriously don’t know why did I ever get the strength and courage to hold on to this relationship for so long. 13months and 5days. To some, it may just be a short time. But to me, its long enough for me to sink into it.

I was so relieved when I saw him in church just now. I cried. I can’t help but just cry. I’ve no idea how should I talk to him. Well, I never get a chance to talk to him actually. I believe he went off halfway for work.

Always, I told myself not to hurt people that love and care for me. But, I believe I’ve hurt him and I’ve hurt myself.

I really want to close this chapter of life. I just wish to keep the good memories. Letting go all the nightmares and hurts.

But, I really thank all the people around me.

*My Superglue W and Superglue E.
*My Innercircles
(you people should know who you are!)
*My cell group leader, Yongxin.
*My cell group members, Tirene and Eigene.
*His cell group leader, Jeryn.

Privacy. Thoughts

{ October 9, 2007 @ 12:56 am } · { Cell Group, rantings }
{ } · { Leave a Comment }

Main Entry: pri·va·cy
Pronunciation: 'prI-v&-sE, especially British 'pri-
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural -cies1 a : the quality or state of being apart from company or observation : SECLUSION
b : freedom from unauthorized intrusion <one’s right to privacy>
2 archaic : a place of seclusion
3 a : Secrecy
b : a private matter : SECRED

Privacy. Something to me that is very important. If you want me to respect your privacy, YOU JOLLY WELL RESPECT MINE! If you want to take something from my bag, PLEASE INFORM ME! I don’t care a damn on who the hell are you. BUT ASK! Ask and You shall be GIVEN! I hate it when YOU invade my privacy and think that YOU are RIGHT! I don’t have any secrets for YOU to dig out. I have NO CIGARETTE, NO DRUG, NO WEAPONS, NO CONDOMS or whatsoever in my bag! AND I DON’T WISH TO HAVE ANY TOO! If I would to have those, I WILL NOT WAIT TILL THIS POINT OF TIME IN MY LIFE TO TRY THEM OUT! Its way too LATE. If I would to have those, I WOULD HAVE TRIED SHEESHA SMOKING THAT DAY OR EVEN LEARN THE ART OF SMOKING! Know it and KNOW IT WELL, I may be some attitude kid around but I know where I stand. I jolly well know my limits on what I should and what I should NOT. All I truly need NOW, is YOUR TRUST. But YOU gave me NONE! All YOU gave me is the TRUST THAT I WILL GO ROTTENLY BAD!

Hanging out and chilling out with the same group of friends almost everyday doesn’t mean that we are doing some illegal stuffs. WHAT.?! X-Some Sex?! Drugs?! Smoking?! KILLING?! Stealing?! We are just a bunch of kids that enjoy each others’ presence. We just want to treasure this very moment we have with each other. Strong friendships ain’t build just by pure attraction. Strong friendships are built upon strong foundation. A basic trust that we have with each other. Being there the very moment you need them. Being there to support you when you are falling. Being there to help you through tough times. Not straight away telling you straight in the face that YOU ARE THE WORST I EVER SEEN!

Words can kill a person. And YOU have long ago killed me with your words. YOU will tell me, those words are being spoken due to the anger. But, let me tell YOU. That is WHEN it HURT EVEN MORE! Just because YOU are angry, thus YOU have all the rights to scream, yell, insult, scold, whack, push me around. Doesn’t this make me sound more like a SANDBAG for YOU to VENT YOUR ANGER?! Bear that in mind, if just because YOU are angry, THUS it give YOU the reason to escape from all the bad words u spitted on me. THEN, IT GAVE ME THE SAME REASON TO DO IT TO YOU! But, a lot of times I let YOU scold, scream, yell, insult, pushed around, whacked. So, don’t blame me for being such a rebellious girl. All I can say that its YOU that have pushed me off the edge and become like a crazy mad woman.

Mum, Friends.

If you all ever ask me, why have I become so rebellious.
If you all ever ask me, why you never share with us what is happening in my life.
If you all ever ask me, why I’m so different from who I am in the earlier days of my life.

I can only say that, I’ve been modified this way.
I can only say that, I’m just too numbed.
So numbed so numbed.

I just want to be like everybody. Who can get along so well with their parents.
But, I simply cant.

Protected: my daily dosage of laughter by the Papaya Sisters

{ October 4, 2007 @ 11:38 am } · { rubbish }
{ } · { Enter your password to view comments }

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:


lame

{ October 3, 2007 @ 12:43 pm } · { rubbish }
{ } · { Comments (4) }

List out your top 5 birthday presents you wish for:

1) New Phone
2) Laptop
3) Life time membership for Dorothy Perkins, Topshop
4) LV 包包
5) FREEDOM
Answer the following questions:

1. The person/people who tagged you is/are?
* Goh Elshender Ernest!

2. Your relationship with him/her is…
* Him-Concubine!
Me-EMPRESS!

3. Your 5 impressions of him/her…
* GAYISH!
* Ang Mo brand
* Ronald Macdonald look-alike
* Sing.Sing.Sing
* Entertaining

4. The most memorable thing he/she had done for you…
* Getting a beanbear huggy for me together with Windy and Weide.

5. The most memorable words he/she had said to you…
* Vodka VEDICE!

6. If he/she becomes your lover, he/she will…
* huh? he is already my CONCUBINE!

7. If he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be…
* HEIGHT!! pls grow taller. =x

8. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will…
* rather die.

9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be…
* im crazy.

10. The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is…
* feed him?! he is overly THIN! aeronoxia?!

11. Your overall impression of him/her is…
* my BFF!

12. How you think people around you feel about you?
* SMALL EYED! ._.”

13. The character that you love of yourself are…
* Entertaining!~?

14. On the contrary, the character that you hate of yourself are…
* Overly ENTERTAINING!

15. The most ideal person you want to be is…
* Maggi Q!

16. For people that care and like you, say something to them…
* Thanks. Thanks. Thanks.!

17. Pass this quiz to 10 persons that you wish to know how they feel about you…
1. Ernest
2. Windelyn
3. TY
4. Swine
5. Kris
6. Jiaxin
7. Eigene
8. Tirene
9. Layleng
10. Xingzuan

Who is No.6 having relationship with?
* at the moment… nobody..

Is No.9 a male or female?
* female.

If No.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?
* oh man. lesbo?!

How about No.8 and 5?
* eh. no link

What is No.2 studying about?
* The art of BBS

When was the last time you had a chat with No.3?
* 30mins ago on SMS.

What kind of music band does No.8 like?
* eh, GOOD MUSIC

Does No.1 have any siblings ?
* an elder sister! CHIO!

Will you woo No.3 ?
* he is my HUNNY!

How about No.7 ?
* lesbo again?!

Is No.4 single ?
* she is mine too! my SWINE.

What is the surname of no.5?
* TAN.

What is the nickname of no.10?
* Gossip QUEEN

What is the hobby of no.4?
* SLEEPSLEEPSLEEP!

Do no.5 and 9 get along well?
* abit no link…

Where is no.2 studying at?
* JW st92!!

Talk something casually about no.1?
* concubineEeeEeEEeeeeeEEEEEeeee!!

Have you tried developing feelings for no.8?
lesbo seems to be the hotest topic huh!?