Archive for July, 2007

emotionless

{ July 6, 2007 @ 3:03 pm } · { crying }
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I’m sorry for being so busy. I can blame nobody but myself for bringing all these to myself.

What can I say other than I’m sorry?


Nothing

I’m not that strong. I’m very tired. My eyes are swollen. I feel like crying.

crossroad

{ July 5, 2007 @ 2:06 pm } · { crying }
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Once again, I’m stucked at the crossroad.

I hate the feelings.
I hate myself for being so useless.
I hate myself for being so lousy.
I hate myself for being so insensitive towards him.
I hate myself for being so ridiculous.
I hate myself for asking too much from him.

I cant help but keep blaming myself.
I cant help but keep crying.
I cant help but just keep my mouth shut for the rest of my days.
I cant help but feel like quitting everything that is causing me to be so busy.
I cant help but feel like slappin myself.
I cant help but I really feel very tired.

Tired of myself.
Tired of my childishness.
Tired of my selfishness.
Tired of everything around me.

I’m sorry that I’ve hurt you.
I’m sorry that I’m being so unreasonable.
I’m sorry for not being able to get you expensive stuffs.
I’m sorry for being such a useless girlfriend.
I’m sorry for being so busy and causing you to be attached and yet like a single.

Its just all my fault.

physically & mentally unstable

{ July 1, 2007 @ 11:55 pm } · { rubbish }
{ } · { Comments (5) }

I’m totally worn out. Super duper tired. For the past weeks, I’ve been sleeping less than 5hours on average of every night. I’m somebody that needs plenty of SLEEP! With just an average of less than 5 hours of sleep every night. I’m needed to be fully awake and working and doing things for the whole of the rest of the 19hours.

My schedule is so tight down now that I have thoughts of throwin everything there and go MIA for a few hours, says 24 hours?! But I cant. My phone will continuously peepin non-stop. Everything will go haywire. Maybe I think too highly of myself. But somehow, I think I can be useful la! =x LOL

I’m really so afraid that one day, my heart will not be able to take it and I’ll just collapse halfway on the road. Grr!! OK… Drama~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LOL. But I really enjoy doing all these actually. The favour of men, the trust that the people have for me, the happiness I got when i archieve my goals. Nothing can be compared to the reward I got after accomplishing the tasks. But its only those that have gone thru what I had will understand what I mean.

 I’ve unofficially taken a break from HVCC. Totally have no time for it. With 2tuition kids, SPCO, NDOC, CellGroup… I totally have no time to even sit down relax and watch a movie/show also not to mention TO SLEEP! Still considering whether to go back after my unofficial break because there are so many people leaving already and yet I’m still there.  LOL

Have been drinkin quite a bit these few days. Have been enjoying it. LOL. High High High! LOL. Of coz la. Not to the extend of drunk. Only 1 portion each time! LOL. For easy sleeping! LOL. BUT, the drinks @ Chervon is real cheap and its a real nice place to chill out!!! YEA! Baobei, will u be reading my blog? We go again k!! LOL

 Hmmm. Dont know what to blog le. haa! BYE

ps. Baby I LOVE YOU! MUACKS! Happy 11 mths in advance!! we are the viCLay!!!

ps. LENG I LOVE U TOO!! MUACKS! Happy 21st birthday. Dont forget our VicLay =)