contradicting

girl: can I go play mahjong w them? will u be angry?

boy: aiyo. go!!!!

boy got pissed off w girl.

if the boy don’t wish the girl to go, why can’t he juz ask the girl not to go?

girl: finish playing le. going find u now.

boy: juz go home. don’t need come n find me.

girl: ok. fine. I will go home.

boy: you really going home?

if the boy don’t wish the girl to go home and not find him, why ask her to go home in the first place?

難過。

來到你家門口卻不能進去。
就算是沒有人在，我也只能坐在門外的樓梯口，靜靜的等待。

我就像是只見不得光的過街老鼠。

不時，你都會常常提起她的名字。
說她有多好。
說與她那些難忘的美麗回憶。

我就像是她的代替品。

或許這些才是我真正想要放手的原因吧。
或許你永遠都不會知道這些。

痛。

我的心從來沒有這麼痛過。
我是真的很累了。

老天爺，如果祢想要這樣對我的話。
不然，祢就拿了我這條狗命吧。

jealousy

Sometimes, I asked myself..

“Why are you getting jealous so easily yet you do not allow him to get jealous?”

Am I asking for too much? Am I being very greedy in this relationship?

後備

坦白說，有時候我真的覺得我才是那個後備輪胎或出氣筒。。。

對你而言，我或許就像是一個玩具、一粒玩具球，常常都把我給踢給別人。。。

但是，有時你給我的愛撫與關懷卻是那麼的溫暖。

我真的不知道該怎麼辦才好。。。

the impossible

I am sorry, but this is a sad post again.

人-Life

人，簡單的兩個筆畫。
但是，它其實是有那麼多不一樣的解釋。

人心難測。

虛偽的，多到數不清。
被利用的，更不用說了。

我承認，我並不是一個很好的人。
人非聖賢。

但是，當我掏心掏肺的去幫助一些人時，我是出自內心的希望你們可以學到一些課本上學不到的事情。我並不想你們步上我的後程。

我並不需要你們把我當做一個神。我只需要你們基本的尊敬。一個當朋友的基本尊敬。但是我換來的卻是你的不屑與不敬。

算了吧。容平。

I felt so tired. Trying to please everybody. Yet, who is there to understand and please me. I asked myself so many times, why. But the
only answer I can find is, I can’t find any reason not to help.

Sometimes, I joke about my death. It is always a taboo to joke about. But, to me, no different. I will still die eventually. It is just a matter of sooner or later. So what if I have dreams unfulfilled? So what if I have things or people that I can’t bear to let go? I can never bring them into the coffin with me eventually.

Don’t worry. I’ll not kill myself. But I’m juz tired of living.